So there's this girl... But wait! Don't stop reading. I mean you're thinking that it's gonna be the same thing as always on here. Hold on, I hope that this won't be just another of Andy Graham's hopeless romantic rant.

I was talking to a friend who is pretty decently wise and they said that change isn't change unless it's for yourself, in order to better yourself. If your motivation is simply to make someone approve of you more, or think more highly of you, then it's shallow and won't work.

This is what I've come to find. I have met a girl who I truly believe is the one for me. This, though, is a dangerous thing to think for me because obsession with her (i.e. infatuation) may ensue. I have found that I tend to give my whole heart to a girl even before we know each other or whatever. This, my friends, is a grave error that I seem to not be able to (or choose not to?) fix. You see, I have a huge desire to find a girl who has a mutual love for me and God. A desire to serve His church and build up fellow believers wells up inside of me and I just love that. It comes from the Holy Spirit of course and I feel that, as I have struggled lately with some things, I am getting a better glimpse of what it means to "love your neighbor as yourself" and genuinely serve without a hidden agenda (when that happens, everyone knows there's an agenda involved so it's hardly a secret).

Well I have met a girl who is a good reminder of what a solid Christian woman is. I don't want to put her on a pedestal, but I think that as much as one can, she has it right. Yes, she fails, as do we all, but she knows and applies her knowledge and faith that Jesus loves her, God's grace is enough, and that His mercy is all that she can lean on. And that encourages me.

This, my friends, is who I want around me to encourage her and for her to encourage me.

The problem is, I am quite cynical and wary of my heart. I have prayed about her. I have not done that with anyone I've been with before, but I'm also an excellent person to jump to conclusions and rush things.

On the other hand, I am also very good at not taking action until it is too late. I need to step up as a leader. Not necessarily a Bible scholar, but be able to lead spiritually in preparation for the day that I may be in a relationship that heads into marriage.

And finally these random thoughts have come full circle. Did you see that? Right then I said preparation for something in the future. This change that should take place isn't for this one girl because who knows if we're even supposed to head in that direction? It is a preparation for both her and I in how to deal with the spiritual in a real way. hm. I think I may be rambling. (those of you that know me, know how prone I am to that)

So I ask you, what do you think? Message me on here, whether commenting at the bottom of this page or messaging my inbox on here. I would love your input and your various questions. I have no clue if this made any sense or if this is just a shallow cry out... dang I'm rambling again. Okay, here it is. The ending:

THE END!

another friendship bites the dust.